Now, I'm going to assume you know what a rubber fetish is... and if you don't, you can Wikipedia it. What is it, in a more philosophical manner? I guess what I really mean, what does my rubber fetish mean to me?
Any serious rubberist has pondered this question before. Should a person arrive at an answer, it is a unique and personal understanding of one's sexuality.
What is my rubber fetish to me?
It is what defines my sexuality. Sexually, I'm a rubber fetishist, above all else. I have other fetishes that affect me, strongly, but rubber is the big one. Rubber, in nearly all its wearable forms, stirs within me a potent sexual desire. I sometimes wonder if a non-fetishist can truly appreciate the pure sexual attraction that is triggered within me.
I wonder, because I've know no other attraction. From my earliest sexual memories, rubber has been in my thoughts. Rubber boots on the playground. Rubber gloves in the kitchen sink. My memories of my first sexual acts of self-discovery have me staring at the rubber boots of classmates as I pleasured myself discreetly.
So, one can see why my rubber fetish means so much to me. It has been with me almost all my life. It is sometimes a hard companion to have, but it never fails to satisfy. As a teenager, I felt shame in my strange attraction. Being different and not conforming to the expectations of society and my parents. Compound upon this the realization that I considered myself gay. It seems a recipe for disaster, but I think I got off easy, to be honest.
Being attracted to rubber and accepting my attraction to men in rubber was eased by the knowledge that there were others around the world that shared my feelings. And as guy friends got girlfriends, I delved deeper into the fetish world available to me via the internet. I learned of catsuits, wetsuits, drysuits, hazmat suits, a smorgasbord of hot rubbery gear. It all looked so good, and it felt right for me.
Again, I think I got off easy. I was a nerd in high school, so it was a foregone conclusion that I wouldn't have a girlfriend. And here is where the potency of my rubber fetish became apparent. I wanted a boyfriend. But not only did no prospective gay males present themselves, I came to realize that to be sexually attracted to them, they had to be wearing rubber. Even the most sexually virile porn-star was a mere shade compared to a hairy, overweight, middle-aged rubberman. Although the same man, out of rubber wasn't particularly appealing, neither was the strapping young lad. Unless they were wearing rubber gear. Unfortunately, similarly aged rubberboys were not in high abundance. How much easier it would be to be attracted to a regular guy. The absurdity of wishing I was a regular homo, didn't change the fact that my boyfriend, lover, would have to be a rubberman like me.
So, here I am now, years later. And my rubber fetish is still going as strong as ever. I don't wish I was normal anymore. Not even a normal gay guy. I am what I am, and I accept, love, and celebrate that. Rubber brings me a happiness and fulfillment. To deny it, to circumvent it, is to ignore a defining part of me. I am a rubberman.
I hope you are too.
 |
| Tactical gear and rubber. A favourite! |
No comments:
Post a Comment